My Kind of Romance

I spent the weekend with my little sister in SF at a wedding.  She is sweet, but a little awkward and definitely stuck in her romanticized version of the world.  It is perfect for her, though, because the man she married at age 23 is the same way.  They have been married for a year and a half and still celebrate the anniversary of their first date and things like that.  It’s dorky and sometimes annoying.  And whereas I don’t want to be anything like that, it is also kind of endearing to see how her hubby is with her.  He totally plays along with her dorki-ness.

I love D. but sometimes I wish he would be more romantic.  I married him knowing full-well that he wouldn’t change on this.  And it’s okay, because when he does do something romantic, it is even more special to me.

Lately, we have been under a teensy tiny bit of stress.  If by that you mean he is making three digits a month, and my boss just got fired so I am being forced into furlough days and combined we aren’t making our mortgage.  This is where our differences rear their ugly heads, because we handle stress SO DIFFERENTLY.  D avoids stress completely by not focusing on the problems whatsoever.  I like to make it worse by only thinking about it.  We have been fighting (obviously) because whereas I am back in school (in addition to working full-time), D is just at home.  Not worrying lest he be stressed.  So that throws me into over-time nag mode.  I can’t talk to him without saying, “Did you ______________________???” (Fill in the blank: send out resumes, speak to so and so, do the dishes, walk the dog?)  It is like a bad tic.  Yes, he needs to be looking for a job, but I should probably say hi first.

Today, he got a job and is flying to California (he just had an interview there 2 weeks ago).  It pays really well, (baruch hashem, as we say in Hebrew…Sorry, I am superstitious!)  He called me to tell me the exciting news.  And then, after a pause, he said, “And thank you for pushing me…your support is what got me to do what I need to do.  You bring out the best in me”.

That may not be flowers, or a secret handshake (a la sister and bro-in-law) or a candle-lit dinner.  But to hear that I bring out the best in him during a HUGE stressful situation?  So soon in our marriage?  That’s my kind of romance.


5 responses to “My Kind of Romance

  1. That is such a lovely thing to say! My D sounds exactly like your D. Must be the name!

    Does that mean you will be moving to California, if he gets it? Wow!


  2. Not right away…at first he will be commuting between where we are and Los Angeles and Washington DC. We own our house, and we literally couldn’t get a shack for what we spent in LA! We shall see…we just moved her 15 months ago, some of our stuff is still in boxes! (His stuff, actually…)

  3. So sweet! The fact that he will open up to you and say something so meaningful about the relationship you have speaks volumes.

  4. Now that’s love! Congratulations on the good news.

  5. Now if I could just work on not nagging…oy.

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