I spent the weekend with my little sister in SF at a wedding. She is sweet, but a little awkward and definitely stuck in her romanticized version of the world. It is perfect for her, though, because the man she married at age 23 is the same way. They have been married for a year and a half and still celebrate the anniversary of their first date and things like that. It’s dorky and sometimes annoying. And whereas I don’t want to be anything like that, it is also kind of endearing to see how her hubby is with her. He totally plays along with her dorki-ness.
I love D. but sometimes I wish he would be more romantic. I married him knowing full-well that he wouldn’t change on this. And it’s okay, because when he does do something romantic, it is even more special to me.
Lately, we have been under a teensy tiny bit of stress. If by that you mean he is making three digits a month, and my boss just got fired so I am being forced into furlough days and combined we aren’t making our mortgage. This is where our differences rear their ugly heads, because we handle stress SO DIFFERENTLY. D avoids stress completely by not focusing on the problems whatsoever. I like to make it worse by only thinking about it. We have been fighting (obviously) because whereas I am back in school (in addition to working full-time), D is just at home. Not worrying lest he be stressed. So that throws me into over-time nag mode. I can’t talk to him without saying, “Did you ______________________???” (Fill in the blank: send out resumes, speak to so and so, do the dishes, walk the dog?) It is like a bad tic. Yes, he needs to be looking for a job, but I should probably say hi first.
Today, he got a job and is flying to California (he just had an interview there 2 weeks ago). It pays really well, (baruch hashem, as we say in Hebrew…Sorry, I am superstitious!) He called me to tell me the exciting news. And then, after a pause, he said, “And thank you for pushing me…your support is what got me to do what I need to do. You bring out the best in me”.
That may not be flowers, or a secret handshake (a la sister and bro-in-law) or a candle-lit dinner. But to hear that I bring out the best in him during a HUGE stressful situation? So soon in our marriage? That’s my kind of romance.