Sorry I have been MIA. I may or may not have gotten laid off (I did) and I was finishing up a paralegal course…yay for yet another job! (Someday…gotta get the certificate first!)
Yesterday, however, I read something that inspired me to post again. (Insert edenriley.blogspot.com here…if I knew how).
I used to live in Los Angeles. I lived in Brentwood, the fancy part of town, where people pretend that they care about the earth and can walk everywhere, because all of the ridiculously expensive boutiques are all close to each other…but in real life they drive big SUVs. Anyways, I frequented a bagel shop that also had a lot of stars there. It was little and unassuming, and it wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t like I talked to anyone, but occasionally you would start to become familiar faces to them, and they would smile at you everytime they saw you.
Anyway, a few years ago, right after that whole crazy Tom Cr.uise and Matt La.uer interview happened, I remember thinking, “I wish that I could call Look Schields (name different to protect the famous) and thank her for speaking out”. She basically stood up and said that being depressed and being on medicine isn’t a big deal, and that Tom had no business in attaching an even bigger stigma to it.
A few weeks later, I walked into the busy bagel shop, and the cutest little girl said, “You can sit with us!” I smiled and said, “No, I’ll just wait for someone else to get up”. She persisted and her mother said, “You better sit, she is pretty insistant!” It was then that I realized, um, I was talking to Look Schmield’s little girl.
I sat down, and complemented the little girl on her tutu (which, apparently, she refused to leave the house without. “When I was your age, I wanted a dog so badly that I would eat only underneath the table and crawled on all fours for three months straight,” I told her. Look smiled and said, “Sometimes I want to eat underneath the table, too.”
Encourage by her comment, I felt like I could say what I wanted. Very carefully, I thanked her for speaking out. I told her that when Tom made those statements, the first thing that came to my mind was, “Let him come to my house for a week, I’ll go off of my meds. Let him look anyone in the eyes and say that depression is easily curable by diet and Xenu and whatever else he preaches…” She was so sweet and flattered. I was so careful not to overstep any boundries, but it was so important to me to make sure she knew that it MEANT SOMETHING. Her using her voice, when so many use it to speak on something that they don’t understand, to say, “Hey. Depression is real, and it hurts…and it takes courage to get help, and to fight.”
Living in LA I had a lot of bizarre, wonderful things happen. It is where I met D. And it’s also where I got to say thank you to someone who helped to free me, even just a bit, from the ties that bound me to feeling like I was weak. Because I am not.